{"id":21637,"date":"2020-10-26T18:01:30","date_gmt":"2020-10-26T18:01:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.humnutrition.com\/blog\/?p=21637"},"modified":"2020-10-26T18:01:30","modified_gmt":"2020-10-26T18:01:30","slug":"how-to-deal-with-ghosting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.humnutrition.com\/blog\/how-to-deal-with-ghosting\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Deal with Ghosting in a Healthy Way"},"content":{"rendered":"A therapist teaches us how to deal with ghosting in a productive, healthy way.<\/em>\r\n\r\nBeing ghosted is the worst. And while it often feels as though you caused it, we’re here to tell you that more often than not, it’s not really about you.\r\n\r\nBelow, learn more about how this modern scenario gained traction, the psychological effects of ghosting, and what to do when you get ghosted.\r\n

What is ghosting?<\/h2>\r\nIf you\u2019ve never experienced ghosting firsthand, you might think it\u2019s a trendy way to celebrate Halloween. But in reality, the term speaks to the spooky act of fully up and leaving a relationship without a word.\r\n\r\nAccording to NYC-based therapist Risha Nathan, LCSW, HHC<\/a>, the term ghosting first appeared once online dating<\/a> started to flourish. And it makes sense. After all, when you\u2019re only chatting on an app, it\u2019s easy to stop communicating without another trace.\r\n\r\nNevertheless, while ghosting is often associated with dating, Risha says it can also apply to friendships, working relationships, and more.\r\n\r\n\u201cThis has become extremely prevalent, at least partially due to the nature of the way we exist currently,\u201d she explains. \u201cOur society is breeding avoidant behaviors\u2014like not communicating feelings or working through issues\u2014but instead deciding that it\u2019s much easier to just leave.\u201d\r\n\r\nWhich leads us to today\u2019s discussion…\r\n\r\n\"Man\r\n

WHAT DOES GHOSTING DO TO A PERSON?<\/h2>\r\nPart of knowing how to deal with being ghosted is understanding its effect in the first place. After all, it can be quite jarring.\r\n\r\n\u201cIn the best-case scenario, a person may have the confidence to decide that they\u2019re better off without a person who’s comfortable just leaving without a conversation,\u201d Risha says.\r\n\r\nHowever, in the worst cases, she says that ghosting can feel very personal. \u201cFor some, being ghosted is a reinforcement of their worth (or lack thereof) that can cause a lot of pain and shame,\u201d she explains.\r\n\r\nIt\u2019s within those worst-case scenarios that ghosting is especially detrimental. \u201cPeople often look for the \u2018whys\u2019 in situations where they feel abandoned,\u201d Risha continues. And while seeking out information can be useful, when it comes to ghosting, she says that you already have all the information you need.\r\n\r\nNo doubt, ghosting can be painful\u2014but it should be a reminder of what you don\u2019t<\/em> want in your life, not a trigger to wonder what\u2019s wrong with yourself. (Easier said than done, we know.)\r\n

How to Deal with Ghosting<\/h2>\r\nAs difficult as being ghosted can be, Risha says that it\u2019s important not to try not to attach meaning to someone else\u2019s behavior.\r\n

Set Realistic Expectations<\/h3>\r\nWith that in mind, instead of dwelling on the ghosting situation, remind yourself that the goal is availability and consistency<\/a>\u2014nothing less. And staying true to that idea, she says it\u2019s best not to reach out.\r\n

Let Them Go<\/h3>\r\n\u201cAs tempting as it may be to continue to reach out, don\u2019t,\u201d she urges. \u201cLet people go. You can\u2019t keep them.\u201d That said, if they return and want to offer an explanation for their behavior, that\u2019s okay. Just make sure to keep your guard up so you won\u2019t get sucked back into their inconsistency.\r\n

Stay As Neutral As Possible<\/h3>\r\nPart of keeping your guard up is knowing how to respond if and when a ghoster returns. \u201cWhen thinking about telling someone that they hurt you or did something wrong, make sure to check in to see what your agenda is,\u201d Risha says. \u201cIf there\u2019s a need to let someone know how much damage you feel because you think it may elicit a guilt response or make someone like you, hold off. While it\u2019s important to express feelings, if there\u2019s a specific outcome desire attached to that expression, it can end up being problematic.\u201d\r\n\r\nIn that way, when it comes to how to get over being ghosted, Risha says it\u2019s all about managing expectations.\r\n\r\n\"Woman\r\n

Final Thoughts<\/h2>\r\nAs painful as ghosting may feel in the moment, it may actually be a blessing in disguise. So, in the interim, Risha says to take some alone time<\/a> and know that it\u2019s not your fault.\r\n\r\n\u201cYou’re not to blame for other people\u2019s behavior, nor do you have control over it,\u201d she reminds us. Keeping that in mind, use your time post-ghosting more wisely and focus on yourself instead of the other person.\r\n\r\n\u201cCheck in on your self-esteem<\/a> and self-worth. Make conscious choices to be around people who offer love and support that feels encouraging,\u201d Risha suggests. And, if any of those people feel unavailable even sans ghosting, she recommends considering closing the door yourself.\n
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A therapist teaches us how to deal with ghosting in a productive, healthy way. Being ghosted is the worst. And while it often feels as though you caused it, we’re here to tell you that more often than not, it’s not really about you. Below, learn more about how this modern scenario gained traction, the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":21678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_toc_level":"h2","_toc_min":2,"footnotes":""},"categories":[825,830],"tags":[617,284],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-21637","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind","category-mood","tag-mental-health","tag-relationships"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Deal with Ghosting in a Healthy Way | HUM Nutrition Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Being ghosted hurts. 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