{"id":20943,"date":"2020-09-14T20:45:59","date_gmt":"2020-09-14T20:45:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.humnutrition.com\/blog\/?p=20943"},"modified":"2020-09-14T20:45:59","modified_gmt":"2020-09-14T20:45:59","slug":"what-is-toxic-positivity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.humnutrition.com\/blog\/what-is-toxic-positivity\/","title":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s Why Toxic Positivity Can Do More Harm Than Good"},"content":{"rendered":"Two psychologists break down the negative outcomes of toxic positivity.<\/em>\r\n\r\nMany of us best try our best to stay as positive as possible 24\/7 to overcome systemic issues, avoid burnout<\/a>, and simply attempt to live their best lives. However, not allowing yourself to experience the ebbs and flows of life can lead to some pretty harmful effects.\r\n\r\nTo help uncover what those are, we chatted with Connecticut-based psychologist Roseann Capanna-Hodge, EdD, LPC, BCN<\/a>, and NYC-based psychologist Vivian Diller, PhD<\/a>. Check out what they have to say about toxic positivity below.\r\n

What is toxic positivity?<\/h2>\r\nAccording to Dr. Capanna-Hodge, toxic positivity is when a person thinks it’s not okay to not be okay.\r\n\r\n\u201cA person may want to disconnect from uncomfortable feelings and over-focus on positive and possibly unrealistic outcomes,\u201d she explains. While this might make someone feel better in the moment, it can lead to unmet goals and overall feelings of unfulfillment in the long run.\r\n\r\nIn short, toxic positivity encompasses the process of pretending everything is fantastic when, in reality, it may be anything but. In simple terms, you can also view it as toxic optimism or a form of fake positivity.\r\n\r\n\"Man\r\n

Why is Toxic Positivity harmful?<\/h2>\r\nWe know what you might be thinking: How could being positive be harmful?<\/em> While having a positive outlook is a great way to live, Dr. Capanna-Hodge posits that suppressing emotions isn\u2019t.\r\n\r\n\u201cDenying or avoiding uncomfortable emotions is harmful because we’re not building stress tolerance<\/a>,\u201d she clarifies. \u201cResilience is all about managing and recovering from stressful experiences and not ignoring those uncomfortable emotions. Actually dealing with them is important for good emotional health<\/a>.\u201d\r\n\r\nThink of it like this: You just lost your job and are down in the dumps. Would you prefer that a friend to be there to help you ride out those emotions, or someone to urge you to be positive instead of giving you the chance to actually express how this loss has made you feel?\r\n\r\nWhile automatically opting towards positivity may seem like the best bet, actually going through the motions is more productive in the long run.\r\n

How to Know If You Practice It<\/h2>\r\nTake a moment to reflect. When a stressful moment arises, do you:\r\n
    \r\n \t
  1. face it head-on and allow yourself to process the emotions that come along with it, or<\/li>\r\n \t
  2. push the emotions aside and pressure yourself (or others) to be solely-positive in its midst?<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\nIf you skew towards the latter, there’s a good chance that you default to toxic positivity. It\u2019s a fine line to walk. After all, optimism is great, but fake positivity isn’t.\r\n

    Toxic Positivity Examples<\/h2>\r\nTo help clarify the concept, consider the examples below.\r\n

    Example 1: You Unexpectedly Lose Your Job<\/h3>\r\nPositivity:<\/strong> Trying to remind yourself that there\u2019s light at the end of the tunnel\r\nToxic Positivity:<\/strong> Pretending that you\u2019re not upset at all and acting as though you\u2019re completely fine\r\n

    Example 2: You + Your Partner Break Up<\/h3>\r\nPositivity:<\/strong> You\u2019re grateful to learn from the relationship and are processing life without it\r\nToxic Positivity:<\/strong> You pretend that the relationship meant nothing to you and fill the void by excessively going out and being happy-go-lucky\r\n

    Example 3: Your Best Friend Is Having a Crisis<\/h3>\r\nPositivity:<\/strong> You want them to know they\u2019re capable of anything and this too shall pass\r\nToxic Positivity:<\/strong> Telling them it isn\u2019t a big deal at all and they\u2019ll be A-okay\r\n\r\nSometimes toxic positivity can come down to semantics. But overall, it\u2019s the idea of covering up how you really feel (or downplaying how a loved one really feels) and instead acting as though everything is normal, good, and will turn out just fine.\r\n\r\n\"Woman\r\n

    How to Avoid Toxic Positivity<\/h2>\r\nWhile it\u2019s good to be positive, it\u2019s also good to be realistic and empathetic\u2014both towards yourself and others. So, how do you avoid toxic positivity?\r\n\r\n\u201cInstead of only offering a positive insight, providing validation or helping someone to feel heard helps one feel connected and cared for<\/a>,\u201d Dr. Capanna-Hodge shares.\r\n\r\n\u201cSo when we support others who are struggling, a simple, \u2018I hear you\u2019 can go a long way in helping a person move through whatever they’re struggling with.\u201d\r\n

    The Bottom Line<\/h2>\r\nOverall, Dr. Diller says that maintaining a positive attitude can be good for you emotionally and physically. Heck, research even confirms it<\/a>.\r\n\r\n\u201cBut avoiding authentic, true feelings to remain positive at all costs can be also toxic,\u201d she says. \u201cThis is particularly problematic when parents raise children trying to make lemonade out of lemons from all their experiences. It leaves them feeling as if any negativity should be kept hidden, from themselves and others.\u201d\r\n\r\nWhen this happens, Dr. Diller says that children may grow up to feel pressured to be happy all the time\u2014and, in turn, ashamed if feelings of sadness, confusion, or worry arise. \u201cThe pathology of the \u2018perfect\u2019 child can result,\u201d she warns.\r\n\r\nWith that in mind, she concludes that it\u2019s better to find a good balance between optimism and realism. This happy medium can ultimately lead to your happiest, healthiest life.\n
    \n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t
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    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t367 Reviews\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t
    Big Chill<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t
    \n\t\t\t\t\t\treduces stress symptoms, improves focus, + aids burnout recovery\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t
    \n\t\t\t\t\t\t$21<\/span>SHOP NOW<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    Two psychologists break down the negative outcomes of toxic positivity. Many of us best try our best to stay as positive as possible 24\/7 to overcome systemic issues, avoid burnout, and simply attempt to live their best lives. However, not allowing yourself to experience the ebbs and flows of life can lead to some pretty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":21043,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_toc_level":"h2","_toc_min":2,"footnotes":""},"categories":[825,830],"tags":[617,178],"coauthors":[],"class_list":["post-20943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind","category-mood","tag-mental-health","tag-stress"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHere\u2019s Why Toxic Positivity Can Do More Harm Than Good | HUM Nutrition Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Wondering what toxic positivity is? 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